Shy vs Proud

My parents used to be so worried that I was so reticent, that they sent me to a drama class and ballet class to encourage me to mix around and have friends. They also tried to scare me by saying that people usually think that those who don't talk much will appear to be very proud and will be greatly disliked.

That didn't work on me. Even the classes didn't. I always shied to the back of drama class, and don't recall making any friends in ballet class. When the teachers handed out forms for the next class (which means that the current class had ended its run, and would require my parents' permission to continue on to the next level), I vaguely remember myself telling my parents that the class had ended, and that was it. I don't remember if I said that because I really didn't want to go back to the class, or because I genuinely thought that was the end. Okay, I really don't remember. Haha.

Ironically, in kindergarten, because my classmates were always so rowdy and noisy, I received a prize for being the most well-behaved (and coincidentally, or maybe not, quietest) student in class. Perhaps that was some kind of positive reinforcement, because I continued to be a very quiet student and even person, in life. Haha.

Anyway, I was wondering if any of you find me proud because I don't talk much. Hmm.

Which made me think of something. My second aunt doesn't talk much at our gatherings, and I have always had a fairly strong dislike of her because I think she is too proud to talk to us "lowly" people. Not that we are really lower in position than her. Just that my uncles like to laugh loudly and my mother and her sister did not continue their education to university level like she did. And one more thing which is controversial to say so I shall not say it (although that is the strongest reason). But I just think that no one has any right to look down on other people, even if they are high flyers in society.

Just today, I started wondering if it could be that she is just shy, like me. Maybe she didn't manage to find anyone in the extended family that shares common topics with her and ended up remaining quiet, always sitting in a corner. Maybe she doesn't dare to be loud like the rest of the family and so, she withdrew into her self-conscious shell.

Like me. I used to be VERY QUIET at family gatherings. I still am relatively quiet, but have gotten better because I'm improving. Haha. I've gotten to the stage where I dare to talk more when people ask me questions, but haven't reached the stage of asking them questions. Maybe it's the whole issue of hierarchy.

Anyway, my point is that maybe my aunt is shy and not proud. I should observe her more. Hmm.

Yes, I'm weird.

Incidentally, I'm usually quiet because I'm shy. But I am also reticent by nature. Heh.