Oooh...Me... =P

A friend said something to me recently that got me started on wondering how I portray myself to others. It's a compliment, and by now, that friend should know who she is =P However, I also realised that people don't really see me in this way, and actually, I realised this long ago, and don't really like the way I portray myself.

However, it sucks to be too serious all the time. I mean, I don't like to go around crapping with people and not talking about anything else because it feels so shallow and superficial, but I do like to inject some crap from time to time (I'll die if I don't talk rubbish for a day =P)...most of the time, I talk crap because I don't like to add my genuine views to things, in case people don't like them (some people don't like you to say stuff if they don't ask), my views are wrong, I misunderstood the situation, I don't know how to express myself adequately, and the list goes on. All sorts of reasons come to mind whenever I want to say something, and that is why I'm quiet and have earned that reputation. There are also times when I just don't feel like thinking and just prefer to listen. Which is why I also ask questions rather than answer them...(bad for interviews...hmm...)

So yeah, that is why I'm quiet, and 90% of the time when I talk, it's rubbish. Perhaps that is why people may see me in this way. To my friend: Nevertheless, even though I seemed very unhappy when you complimented me because it shows that you've never really thought of me in this way, I was quite flattered to receive it.

I don't like the way I present myself, but I believe that if you continue to interact with me for...all our lives, perhaps? You will eventually get to see this other side of me. I'm not going to say what it is...though it's rather obvious by now isn't it? I suppose. Haha. You're supposed to discover it for yourselves, if you are patient enough ;)