Wish

When you let down someone many times and do not do anything about it or even account for your actions, I guess that’s when that someone can safely and reasonably conclude that you no longer care for him or her as a friend.

I must say that I am very disappointed. And sad. In fact, it’s affecting so much that I am unable to study and absolutely have to get this off my chest. There’s this agonizing lump that resides in the back of my throat and makes its presence felt whenever I think about this. But I refuse to give in to its insistent pleas to break down. It’s silly to.

Haven’t you heard of many people who wish that they had 100 hours a day or something? I used to wish for that too. But now, I’ve come to my senses. 100 hours a day is simply too long for me to look forward to other days. Imagine having a party exactly a week from today. How long would you have to wait?

Instead, I would rather wish for the power to be able to feel tired/sleepy at will and for my body to have the resilience to stand only sleeping once in a while. When others sleep at night, I can be wide awake and have time to myself (be it for studying, packing my stuff or simply self-reflecting. When people are awake in the day, I can spend time catching up with them and maintaining my friendships. And when I am really bored, I can make myself tired and fall asleep.

But of course, that can never happen.