My Relationship With Toilet Paper

This is a post that I had wanted to write on this day. I was to busy to write it so I just typed the the points that I wanted to bring across. Today is 12 April 2007!

Oops. My eyes feel super tired. My eyelids are very heavy. I want to sleep...the bed...is beckoning...come, SH, come...aarghh. Can't take it anymore. There goes another chance to finish this post. Bleah!! Bed, here I come!! =P

Okay. Have you wondered what you can do with toilet paper besides using it in the toilet? (duh, that's why it's called TOILET paper) I was bored the other day (10 April 2007), and came up with everything that I have done with toilet paper all my life (note: the list is not exhaustive; I may have used it for other purposes but just forgot them =P)

For your information, the date today is Friday 20 April 2007!!

wipe butt

Yes. This is the most basic function yeah?

get rid of dust

That's a...not so basic use for toilet paper, but I guess it's alright too =P Saves tissue paper mah...and that's more expensive than toilet paper! =P Anyway, I now use a special kind of paper that traps dust and is much more efficient than toilet paper. I actually derive fun and joy from cleaning! That's a characteristic of Auntie SH. Haha.

dry my bottle caps

Yes. I decided to use toilet paper instead because it's more absorbent, etc...=P

dry tears

IF I cry, I use toilet paper. Tissue paper is simply not enough. =P

absorb mucus from nose

Oh, that's to save tissue paper too. =P

stop bleeding from pimples or anywhere else

Haha. Oops. One of the steps I take to save tissue paper and plasters. Aarghh. I wonder what I am saving them for. I seldom use tissue paper (unless I'm in a public toilet and they don't have toilet paper) and rarely use plasters (hmm that's mainly to prevent blisters, but I seldom wear painful shoes).

absorb oil from food

I usually use kitchen paper for that, but if there are few oily dishes, I will use toilet paper instead. =P And get scolded. Goodness knows how many times I have been scolded for using kitchen paper and toilet paper to absorb oil from food!

stamp on when bored while studying for exams

I know. This is the most ridiculous use ever but I don't do it anymore because I no longer find it as fun as I used to. Haha. I used to study one chapter and reward myself by stamping 3-4 times on 3-4 pieces of toilet paper with all the rubber stamps I have and two ink pads, one green and one blue, in tow. I have 3 square stamps, 1 date stamp and 1 christmas stamp (with 4 designs inside). Hey. I've got somemore from my Sec 2 partner, Wee Teng, too. But I don't know where they are now =P

Anyway, I would only allow myself to go to the toilet with these stamped on toilet paper and derive a sense of satisfaction from using them. Though it was quite sad to throw them into the toilet bowl after using them and watch the ink smudge in the midst of the water. =P

Okay. That's the end of perverted post number 1. I had wanted to post another, but I wonder if I should. It's about all the biantai things I've been doing recently while studying for the exams. =P