Gone

I will not be bringing my laptop to work anymore, for two reasons. 1. Something happened. 2. I can’t access all the files on the R drive of the company network anyway, and sometimes I even have problems accessing the Internet.

Speaking of reason no.2, some of the staff had this problem too, today. And according to my boss, this problem has been present since Saturday. It seems like a network problem, but this person that the boss called to help out with the network, Peter, insisted that there must be a problem with the settings of my laptop. That was not all. He continued to try to change my connection settings and I really didn’t like the way he kept logging out of my account and watching me sign in (okay this happened only once, but for the other times, I had purposely waited a while before signing in and JunHua, who insists that we call him Roy [DJD’s friend, who had introduced us to this job], as he doesn’t like his Chinese name, happened to talk to him and so he didn’t look). So I have to change my password now. AGAIN. After having changed it twice. I WANT BACK MY OLD PASSWORD! But the Windows System insists that I cannot repeat passwords, so too bad for me. (Sorry that I seem so particular about the password thing, but I really hate it when people look at me when I type passwords, PIN numbers, etc. You have to really make a show of looking away whenever I type my passwords. Sorry.)

I really regret changing my password. But it was a necessary evil (evil to me), so too bad. I don’t like to regret, but I’ve also done a lot of things that I regret. Not too long ago, God just saved me from such a situation. I felt it yesterday. Details will be confined to the recesses of my diary.

Back to Peter. My impression of him as a so-called computer expert was okay for the first few seconds until he came over and PULLED my laptop over to face him. The squeaking noise that the rubber…whatevers on the bottom of my laptop made as they were forcefully rubbed on the table surface really hurt my heart. I literally felt the pain. Then he started HITTING away at my keys as he typed stuff that I obviously didn’t understand since I am quite a computer idiot. And he kept opening my Internet Explorer to check if my laptop was still connected to the Internet after it was obviously connected since he was using a CABLE WIRE. This may seem okay to you, but at that time, I was already super irritated, so I guess it just contributed to my irritation. And he kept repeating himself and telling me stuff about connections as if I am a complete computer idiot…which I certainly am not. I admit I don’t know very much about how computers work, but I am not that lousy like some people whom I’ve ever lost my patience with while explaining how they work. The worst thing was that I told him more than once that it was alright that my laptop cannot connect to the Internet or the company’s network as I could always use the computers outside but he didn’t seem to hear me (IS MY VOICE THAT SOFT?! This is something that I’ve been wanting to ask the world. Or maybe he just didn’t want to listen to what I had to say). I also don't like the way he looked at the My Documents folder when he opened WIndows Explorer and tried to access R Drive (part of my company's network). Aarghh. Thank goodness I had deleted quite a lot of rubbish.

Anyway, I still think it is a problem with the network and not my laptop, because I was able to access the network last Friday and even after Peter helped me restore my settings to that Friday's, I was still unable to access it.

I did quite a lot of “eye-exercises” while he was tinkering with my laptop. If you get what I mean. Haha.

But I did feel bad about being like this after he restored my computer settings for me. Nevertheless, I hurriedly shut down my laptop and kept it after he left the conference room (which we are supposed to work in but cannot because Anna, DJD and my laptops cannot access all the files of the company).

Anyway, we have to work every day. Including weekends. However, on weekends, we can choose to rotate shifts. Oh well. There goes my weekends. Sigh.

Yesterday, someone told me something that augmented my disappointment in the world. In human beings, to be more specific. Is scheming something that happens everywhere? If it is part and parcel of life, does that make it right? Or is it just plain wrong? I still think I am not totally free from doing it, no matter what this someone thinks of me. And this made me more sure of what I intend to not get involved in, even though I know I may regret my decision and be sad in the future – but being like this is probably much better than getting involved and suffering forever in the abyss of misery.

And I realized that there is no one I can trust. No one at all. Not even myself… :(

Do me a favour and do not ask me what I am talking about. Thanks so much.